The Husband was enlisted to help me name this game. Fat Freedom bingo was what he came up with. And I love it. But I hemmed and hawed about it being too exclusionary. My main issue was that so many people have issues with their bodies and many of the items on the list are "trouble areas" to them. My goal here is to give a large middle finger to society here. So I changed it. Effyastandahds (can you tell where I am from?) seemed to sum up my feelings on this completely bananas idea that we should police each other's bodies and clothing and actions.
Rules, ways to get extra points, prize info, and bingo card are below. I hope those of you participating have fun and those who aren't enjoy the photos as they are posted! Here's to a happy summer spent breaking barriers and smashing the patriarchy.
-MPA
#effyastandahdsbingo
Rules:
-You don't have to be fat or identify as female to play! Join your fat friends in standing up to some truly stupid ideals and take some really cute selfies in the process.
-Take a photo of yourself doing or wearing some of the "Forbidden" things listed on the bingo card.
-Traditional bingo rules apply. To achieve bingo, you need all 5 items in a horizontal line, vertical line, or diagonal line.
-Multiple entries are allowed.
-When posting photos: if you have an app of collaging, it will totally make your life easier. If not, post all pictures that apply. They can be posted here in the comments, on Instagram, Twitter, Tumblr, or Facebook. Please post once all five at once.
-Photos should be tagged with your name as well having me tagged in the comments (so I can easily find them): Facebook- https://www.facebook.com/cupcakesandcrossbows /Tumblr- tfdmelissa / Twitter- cupcakesnxbows / and Insta- whofavorsfire. Please also use the following tags: #ccacb #effyastandahdsbingo
-Winners will be selected at my discretion with no preference given to those I know personally. If the decision gets tough, I may rope The Husband in to help.
-All submissions must be posted by Labor Day (The last real summer weekend! September 7.)
Extra Credit
Extra points will be awarded for:
-Incorporating donuts into a picture for the free space (No picture necessary as it is the free space).
-Wearing the Target trophy t-shirt OR making a #takingbackTROPHY shirt (please tag these with #takingbackTROPHY as well!).
-Following me on Facebook or subscribing to the blog.
Prizes:
-There will be 5 prizes awarded, one of which will be the Grand Prize.
-What they are, or monetary value, is currently TBA. But I promise it will be fun and not expensive.
-Winners will be notified by private message as well as announced on the blog. I will not use photos without the permission of those that submit them.
I don't know about you folks, but my Facebook feed has had quite a few posts about the Trophy women's t-shirt Target is selling. Mostly, the posts have been about people overreacting in regards to the shirt and its sale.
This is a situation where I think the majority of people, including Target's reps, don't understand fully why this is offensive or problematic. I want to highlight some of the reasons this is an ongoing issue that we all (men included here) should be kind of annoyed with.
You ready? Let's do this.
Target is selling a T-shirt that literally just has the word trophy screened across it. This is a shirt that is sold in women's apparel only but they were... nice(?) enough to make it in plus size as well. This shirt is part of a new BRIDAL collection that includes shirts with far less offensive wording like "Bride", "Mrs.", and "Team Bride." With the exception of some cufflinks and a hat, they do not sell anything labeling a man's wedded status. Neither are gender neutral, which opens a second can of worms. We are expected to define out marriage roles as clearly as we are expected to define our gender roles and appearance.
What these shirts are doing, and Lord knows Target is far from the only retailer that is guilty of this, is furthering the expected social constructs of being a woman and marriage. They are shirts marketed to women who are either getting married, helping plan or are in a wedding, as well as those that want to get married. Sure, they are just garments but when you emblazon them with trigger words like this a lot of different issues come up. Not only are they focusing on the traditionally female role, they focus on the need for a partner/significant other. The words focus on what many women feel is the epitome of their life (other than motherhood): becoming someone's wife - defining themselves and assigning worth based on the validation of others.
Now, let us get to the trophy part, because THAT is the meat of the issue.
What is a trophy bride?
A trophy bride is a truly shitty term for a woman that is often much younger than her rich husband and is considered very attractive. Trophy wives are seen as vapid gold diggers much of the time; women that do little to nothing except look good for their spouses. Not to mention they are sometimes pitted against previous wives (if the husband has any), especially if the previous spouses are older than them. This is a term used to perpetuate the idea that women hate each other and will do anything to cut others down. It also carries the connotation that being a certain level of physically attractive means that you are seen as little more than a pretty object for a man to covet and eventually acquire. Your own accomplishments, intelligence, and needs mean nothing.
But women alone shouldn't be outraged at this term. It also holds awful ideas of the men attached to the term. Having a "trophy wife" often mars the nature in which people look at a man. Many men are seen as narcissistic and driven by a need to impress others with trophy marriages. The idea that these men are only with these women because they have money is also a blow to men - such as you could not possibly be with a person this attractive unless there was some kind of alternative benefit to them. And what if the man in question left is previous marriage for this younger, more attractive woman? SCUM OF THE EARTH, am I right? It doesn't matter if the reasons for their break up, the assumption will always be that he grew too big for his britches and traded up for a newer (hotter) model.
So why the hubbub?
Not only are we selling women shirts that help perpetuate the idea that the pinnacle of their lives is to be defined by their relationship status, we are also marketing them shirts that take this concept and multiply it by a thousand. Simple math:
Society's idea of gender roles + Society's idea of what a woman should be and want * terms that rob women of their value/12.99 for a "regular/straight" sized shirt or 14.99 for plus (sorry, fatties) = DUMB IDEA.
That is the issue. Women shouldn't strive to be someone else's idea of a trophy, especially when that idea is meant to rob them of their own value and hell, life. Women (and men and non-binary folks) should rally around the concept that if you are lucky enough to find someone that gets you, that you can be weird AF (as fuck for you non-internet abbreviation readers) with, and talk about everything or nothing with... The person that lights all of your fires, you have won. They have won. Everyone around you has won because you have unlocked the achievement so many long for: supreme coupledom and epic happiness. You are your own trophy. You are each other's trophies. And if that isn't what you want? Congrats on know what you want in life when so many others are pushed by society into loveless marriages. You are your own trophy too, boo.
Maybe we should all buy them and modify them to say #takingbackTROPHY. Let's start an Insta fire with this. To the tumblr and twitter with this.
