Pinterest Diaries: Pizza-dilla

The Husband and I are quesadilla people. There was a time when we had them once a week. We have even had a dinner party that involved a quesadilla bar. They are fast, easy, tasty, and cheap. Who can argue with that?!? For me.. Well, for us, they just make sense as I almost always have all of the ingredients on hand. Quesadillas in our house are a dinner that relies on pantry staples.

My normal quesadilla is built like this: tortilla, layer of refried beans - preferably Trader Joe's salsa style, layer of shredded cheese, corn (canned corn that has been drained or frozen that I heat with a bit of butter and the Holy Trinity - salt, pepper, garlic powder [Hallelujah - praise be their grains]), green onion or if I don't have any -which is almost a criminal level offense- I will use a can of green chiles, some more cheese because cheese = life, and a top tortilla. I heat them in a skillet making sure everything is melted and warm, flipping to brown both side. I cut it with a pizza cutter and top with sour cream, guac or sliced avocado, and salsa OR if my saintly in-laws have recently come back from Florida some deliciously spicy BBQ sauce. It normally looks like this:

 

 

I decided to get cray and make PIZZA-DILLAS. I saw it on Pinterest and thought that it would be a tasty alternative to a regular quesadilla. The pin called for wheat tortillas that are folded in half. I know me and I know The Husband. A full tortilla was going to be made instead of a halved one. It also had a can of sliced mushrooms and a can of sliced black olives as well as pepperoni, cheese, sauce, thinly sliced onion, and thinly sliced green bell pepper. A layer of cheese then the toppings except the sauce, which was solely for dip-dips. Browned on both sides and cut to perfection.

 

So, naturally (and not surprising if you have read any recipe I have put up here), I went rogue. I held off on the veg to cement the concept for The Husband and to save on money. Here is how it went:

 

Ingredients

• flour tortillas (one day I will remember to get GF!) $3
• a jar of pizza Sauce $2
• shredded mozzarella $3.50
• sliced pepperoni $4
• parmesan cheese - the kind in the shakey thing (had on hand)
• garlic powder (had on hand)

 

Total spent: $12.50. It could have been less (by approx. $3-4) if I had shopped somewhere else but I <3 Trader Joe's, so #YOLO. This yields 4 quesadillas if you use my method, or 8 if you use the method the recipe suggests. My method equals ~$3.12 per quesadilla, theirs ~$1.56 . Either way, still not bad. and you can certainly repurpose tortillas not used and cheese for other meals during the week.

 

 

So let's get to the part we all care about: FOOD PORN.

 

First, I spread a few large spoonful's of the pizza sauce on one tortilla then sprinkled some garlic powder on it.

 Not that anyone can tell the delicious grains of garlic-y groodness are there.

 

Next, I added some of that shakey parmesan salty perfection.

 

Awwwwww, Yesssssss

 

Next, a large paw-ful  of cheese.

Pro-tip: clean up the edges of renegade shreds to prevent it flying out during the dilla-flip.

 

Following the cheesening, top with pepperoni (and veggies or other delicious pizza toppings. GO ROGUE IN THE KITCHEN.)

Coverage is important.

 

Now, more cheese but less than before. Just enough to make a cheese seal.

 

Laying the top tortilla in your hand, spread some more sauce and sprinkle again with garlic powder and parmesan.

Please note this is before the parmesan was added.

 

Slap the top on so the sauce meets the cheese. Move to a frying plan on medium low heat. Let one side cook until browned and about half or so of the cheese is melted.

Mmmmmm, Brown food is delicious.

 

Gently flip the dilla and do the same on the other side. I like to peek by lifting the top tortilla up to see the progress. Watch out! It gets hot in there.

Almost ready for OM NOM NOMs

 

Once out of the pan, I cut it into fourths with a pizza cutter and then BOOM! Dinner is ready. Drop the mic and get ready for your family, partner, friends, EVERYONE to love you just a smidge more.

 

I will definitely do this again, and I will definitely add vegetation to the mix. 



















And Then I Disappeared

Apologies to the few of you out there reading. Life got a little overwhelming and I needed to retreat. My volunteer week (and the two months of prep) went well. I have been a walking ball of stress between that, work, life, and everything else but overall not too bad.

I have been spending a lot of time thinking about how I want to use this platform. I like the idea of a potpourri-style blog. A little bit of everything. It feels more organic that way. I have also been debating starting a cooking vlog on YouTube. I do have concerns over the incredible amount of fat shaming and vitriol I am opening myself up to by doing it. It is on the back burner for now, with the idea of starting an on-line literary magazine/site--Something I have been toying with since I took a course that worked in a literary journal some years back.

Who knows? Maybe some big things are on the horizon.

One of my FAVORITE Feminist bloggers has started this brill girl gang called Fat Pals where you sign up and are given a pal (or more if you chose) that you can talk to, encourage/get encouragement from, to be there with some positivity when us fatties are drowning in the negativity. I am super amped about it. If you are interested, send me an email and I would be happy to give you the link to sign up!

Today is a two-for. I will be posting a quick and relatively cheap dinner tutorial following this!

New Recipe: "Quick" Jambalaya

I lost my jambalaya recipe. It was really tasty and I forgave its use of instant rice because of that. I thought it would be a good dinner to try again as it would yield plenty of leftovers for lunch (or repurposed for other dinners). I searched the internet for a recipe that wouldn't be super time consuming but would be super tasty. Martha Stewart's website had a "quick" version that I used. It was tasty and yielded plenty of dinner with leftovers for 4 lunches (or 2 each for 2 people). Not too shabby. Luckily I had a bunch of the ingredients on hand, which made this a fairly inexpensive dish. I would do it again. I might change out the meats I used to get a little cray or go all veg for a healthier choice.

Pros to this recipe?
-Fairly quick to make. You can prep as things are cooking.
-Easy to make vegetarian or to fit dietary restrictions and or allergies.
-Even though you are cooking bell peppers FOR EVER, the entire pot doesn't smell like them or taste of them (Low Level of Pepper Infiltration).
-The yield is unbelievable (see breakdown below).
-Easy to repurpose.
-Low cost. Uses a lot of pantry staples.

Cons?
-The rice didn't cook evenly but it didn't effect the overall taste.

Bonus?
I ONLY USED ONE COOKING VESSEL.

Here's how you do it:


Ingredients

• Oil. I used a little EVOO, but any you have it totes fine.
• 1 lb skinless chicken breast halves. I used 2 whole breasts from the freezer.
• 3 celery stalks, finely chopped
• 1 medium onion, finely chopped
• 1 green bell pepper, stemmed/seeded, finely chopped
• 1 lb Andouille sausage, cut into 1/2 inch pieces. I got Chicken Andouille.
• 2 garlic cloves, minced.
• 2 cups of home made or low sodium chicken stock
• 3/4 teaspoon of Old Bay. I don't stock Old Bay at home so I used Cajun seasoning
• 14 oz can of crushed tomatoes. I had a 14 oz can of diced and used that instead. DON'T DRAIN!
• 1 cup of long grain rice
• Salt and pepper
• Optional: other "traditional" jambalaya meats are tasso ham and/or shrimp.
• Also Optional: hot sauce. I put in a few dashes to amp up the spice.

Steps

-Heat oil over medium heat. Season chicken with salt and pepper (or if you are feeling fancy: Salt, Pepper, Cajun Seasoning, and Garlic Powder). Add chicken to hot pan.


-Cook chicken until golden brown, ~5 minutes per side.


-Cut into 3/4 inch pieces and set aside. (I cut them before cooking. Whichever you prefer!)

-Add cut veggies and cook, stirring, for ~5 minutes.

 

 

-Add sausage and cook mixture for ~3 minutes. ( I cooked this a few minutes longer to try to develop some caramelization)

 

-Stir in stock, Old Bay, Tomatoes, and Water. Bring to a boil.

    





Ooooh, a Three-fer

 

 

-Add rice and chicken. Reduce to simmer. Simmer for 5 minutes.

 

 

-Cover and remove from heat. Let stand until rice is tendah and liquid is mostly absorbed, about 30-35 minutes. Season to taste.

 

 

This beaut is the almost finished product.

 

 

How this meal was used:

 

Lunches: 4 fairly large portions.

Dinners: 4 fairly large portions.

Uses/Repurposes: Night of dinner - as it was/served with tortillas/one burrito. A second dinner was created for one by reheating and adding over easy eggs on top (because yolks make everything better). Lunches - as it was.

 

 

8 meals achieved from one recipe. If I was better at portioning, I would assume 10 could be achieved.

 

 

Not too shabby. I would do it again. In fact, The Husband has requested I do. 



Even the Mighty Baker Falls

Even the mightiest of home cooks/bakers fail. And that is what I did. Not only do I not have the Pinterest Diaries entry on Pink Ombre frosting... I didn't even bring a home baked cake to the Christening. Ready for the deets of this shit show?
 
Good. It's pretty sad/hilarious.
 
The terror starts at Whole Foods. I leave my phone in the car, prompting The Husband to come into the store. Our rule is that if I go in alone, he texts me his parking location. Pretty reasonable if you ask me.
 
If a store is packed, my anxiety goes crazy. My fight or flight instincts cross and they create a level of crazy unseen by many. Naturally, very person who shops at WF was there. I make my way to the cake mixes. I have tried 2 mixes and have only liked 1 (Pamela's). A beautiful sight is before me: a row of Pamela's mixes. I scan them. I scan them again. How about one more time? I push them around to look behind them. There is no white/vanilla cake mix. This is when I start sweating. I look at the other mixes. They only yield 1 cake round and I need two. I am most certainly not paying $5.99 (which is typical of GF mix) each for 2 packs. He asks why I don't just make a regular cake. BECAUSE IF I AM MAKING IT, I DAMN WELL BETTER GET TO EAT SOME OF IT.

This is when I start losing it. The Husband urges me to just pick one. My reaction is akin to "YOU KNOW NOTHING, JON SNOW!" He picks the only other brand that yields 2 rounds: Namaste. I continue freaking out, all the way to the dairy section because not all GF mixes are created equally. Once I can breathe and think, I explain my issue. One can buy all the regular cakes mixes a store has to offer and they will be relatively the same once baked. Relatively. This does not exist in the world of GF products. If it has garbanzo bean flour, it can taste weirdly of fish. Different flours and ratios of flours to gums makes each mix unique. Each box/pack is either wonderful or a ticking time bomb of AWFUL. We get it with the provision that he will run to another store if it doesn't come out well.
 
We get home and I have tucked a prior to WF purchased maple bacon frosted donut in my purse. I decide to lie down and cry because panic does that to you. The Husband stays with me. I notice the bed is devoid of cats but figure they are laying in the last sun beams of the day. After about an hour, we get up. The large cat has eaten the donut. The donut I was about to eat, wheat be damned, to cheer me up. The Husband even sniffed the cat's breath. It was maple and bacon scented. I am done with everything at this point. A pizza will be ordered and I will bake later.
 
I should have known when I tried the batter that this was a no-go situation. It was gritty like corn bread, which is weird because the mix is corn-free. It doesn't taste sweet or particularly vanilla like. And there is a flavor I can't identify but will qualify as vaguely hippie. I bake it and hope for the best.
 
At the low end of the bake times listed, it is ready. I take it out and let it cool. The Husband and I taste it... and it tastes kind of like nothing. Like cakey corn bread with much less flavor. We decide this will not work for the event and begin forming a back-up plan. My back-up plan is Coffee Time Bakery in Salem. They are open crazy hours everyday and everything they make is delicious. Not GF but delicious. One strawberry shortcake picked up on the way to church later, everyone loves the cake and things are better but no ombre frosting tutorial. Which is probably better because I forgot to get the food coloring I needed anyway...
 


TL;DR? GF cake mixes aren't created equally. Have a back-up plan.
 

What's on the Calendar?

A few food tutorials and Pinterest Diaries are on their way!

The next week will include:

• Cheater Chilaquiles
• To Roux or Not to Roux? (#spoileralert: I always pick Roux)
• Pinterest Diaries: Pink Ombre Frosted cake
• Jambalaya

Annnnd, if I feel particularly ambitious, maybe some book reviews.

Comeback Kids

2015 has been a pretty decent year so far. To top it all off, it may be the year of the comeback. Thanks to the Superbowl, SNL's 40th, and some frabjous music and literary news this may be the year of cultural renaissance. And by cultural renaissance, I mean everything I like will be considered rad again.
 
Here are my thoughts on who/what will be the biggest comebacks of 2015:

1. The '90s.
   Thanks to Target's crop tops, plaid, and overalls I can only assume the '90s are back. Which means a grunge-style loving me will be happier than kitty with a toy filled with nip.
2. No Doubt
   Let's not kid ourselves, 2012's Push and Shove was a HOT MESS. There are rumors of a reunion/comeback and I could not be more ready. No Doubt defined my teen-dom and adult me is ready to receive a pop-punk-ska album that will give me life. There are rumors that Gavin and Gwen are on the rocks. She writes her best when her heart is broken (see albums Tragic Kingdom and Return of Saturn. Bathe yourself in the glow of their brilliance). This could be epic.
3. Billy Idol
   Back with a new album and a track blowing up my local indie station (Can't Break Me Down), Idol is in the house. And he looks pretty much the same, which translates to old punk guy hot.
4. Missy Elliott
   #keepit100 ? The beat for Get Ur Freak On dropped during the Superbowl and I had an out of body experience. I almost threw my phone across the room in excitement. My heart raced to the point I thought I was going to end up in the hospital. Lord, I am not worthy that you should enter under my roof, but only say the word and my soul shall be healed. Amen. Hallelujah. Word on the street is this Goddess is working with Timba on a new album. Missy is back on the map.
5. Miley Cyrus's reputation
   Are we all over the MTV awards bull yet? Ok, good. Miley has pipes. SNL's 40th helped prove that this girl can sing. Her cover of 50 Ways to Leave Your Lover was perfection. As are her backyard sessions and her last time as a guest on SNL. AND, she has the Happy Hippie Foundation which is rallying young people to work toward ending social injustice. Say what you want about her preferred genre, or her tongue hanging out ALL THE DAMN TIME in her videos, but you can't deny girl has some serious chops.
   
   
   
6. And the biggest news on the list: HARPER LEE IS PUBLISHING A NEW BOOK.
   That's right, the author of To Kill a Mockingbird is publishing a new book. Ms. Lee, known for not doing interviews and leaving rooms if you pester her about her book is publishing a new one. And it is about Scout Finch. This is literally the best news of the year so far. I doubt anything can top it.
   
   
   What are your predictions?

Pinterest Diaries: Beer and Brown Sugar Pulled Chicken

Sorry for the delay! Yesterday took more out of me than expected, but I got some quality time in with family. I got to deflect emotions with humor. I also got to bring some pulled chicken to my fabulous neighbors AND got baby snuggles for a hot minute. So, ya know, I recouped.

On to the food porn!

The software:

• 1/4 c. tomato paste
• 3 tbs soy sauce
• 3 tbs balsamic vinegar
• 1 tbs Worcestershire sauce
• 1 tsp chili powder
• 1 tsp smoked paprika
• 1 tsp garlic powder
• 1/3 c. brown sugar, packed
• 12 oz. porter beer
• 6 boneless/skinless chicken thighs
• Slider buns if you want to holla at some sammiches

The hardware:

• Crock Pot
• mixing bowl
• whisk
• measuring spoons/cups
• large mixing spoon
• 2 forks
• 1 plate
• CROCK POT LINER. Seriously, y'all. Hop on this. It makes clean up 1,000 times easier. I have never had one break, melt, get maimed, whatever. Whoever invented these deserves a Nobel Peace Prize for bringing harmony into homes.

The cast of characters, if you will.

Right off the bat, you can see I went rouge. I can't help it. I forgot the Worcestershire sauce. I also thought I had chili powder and paprika. I was wrong. So I used a few dashes of cayenne instead. I also added salt and pepper, BECAUSE WHEN DO YOU NOT ADD SALT AND PEPPER?!?!?! I used reduced sodium soy sauce which is part of the reason I felt the true spirit of #yolo when adding salt.

Let's get cookin'. The original directions are:

1. Whisk together everything but the beer and chicken.
2. Add sauce, chicken, and beer to the crock.
3. Cook on low ~4 hours or until chicken pulls apart easily with a fork Dinglehopper fork (or if you are my mom, a faaaahk).
4. Using 2 forks, shred chicken.

I continued my rogue streak and did things differently. My version:

1. Whisk together everything but brown sugar and beer. The teeny tiny can I had measured 2 tablespoon more than needed. I felt it was negligible and added the whole thing. More of that #yolo swag.
   
2. Pack that brown sugar! Whisk it in. At this point, it was not a sauce. It was a paste. I decided it needed to be thinned out before hitting the crock.
   
3. Whisk in the beer. Make sure to scrape the sides.
   
4. Line dat crock, yo'!
   
5. Pour half of the sauce into the crock. Put the chicken in, tossing it to make sure it is covered in sauce. I had boneless/skinless chicken breast and not thighs. Whoops.
   
6. Pour the rest of the sauce in, covering the chicken. Using the mixing spoon, tuck the chicken into its saucy bath.
   
   Cover. Set it on low. Forget it. Well, kind of. I cooked this from around 10 PM until about 5:45 AM. Mostly because that is when I woke up to pee. Around 1 AM, I turned the breasts (of which there were approx. 4). I then turned it to warm so I could grab some more z's.
7. At about 8:45 AM, I got up for real to get to shredding. I pissed off the cats by refusing to feed them but the smell of deliciousness seemed to mellow them out as they mewed in vain, pleading for a morsel or two. #sorrynotsorry I grabbed a plate and shredded it a breast at a time, throwing the shreds back into the sauce, mixing well so every one was covered. I kept the crock on warm until we left around 9:30 AM and put it back on a few hours later after the services. Apologies. This is where my pictures end.

Results:
I felt it was a little too...tangy. I assume this is where my tomato paste #yolo moment backfired. However, plenty of other people enjoyed it. Honestly, I would up the garlic next time and maybe add a little more sugar to cut the tang. The Husband suggested using a different beer as he felt the porter was too assertive. He suggested maybe a stout. I suggested maybe a different porter or whatever beer is on hand.

Would I do it again? Heck yes. It was tasty, fairly inexpensive as most of it is pantry staples for us. I almost always have brown sugar and there will never be a day when my house is barren of soy sauce. We had some balsamic on hand too. It was independently verified as delicious by family members that don't have to tell me they like what I make.

 

I declare this as a win.