Tutorial: Buffalo Cauliflower

In an effort to try new recipes (ala TBT #9) and to eat vegetarian half of the week, The Husband suggested trying buffalo cauliflower "wings" MONTHS ago. This has made the weekly menu a few times but always gets knocked out for other tasty treats. This week, we bought a beautiful head of cauliflower from Whole Foods and stuck to the plan (go Team Awesome!).

I watched a bitchin' tutorial from The Rad Fat Vegan on youtube and read a few recipes to get a general idea of how to make it, then struck out on my own. We had a tight budget this week so I opted to use regular flour instead of buying tummy-friendly flour (read as: GF flours/rice flour/etc), but stuck mainly to the ingredient lists I saw-which were surprisingly almost all the same.

I could have baked them longer as I longed for more crunch. The Husband did not like it. At all. Good on him for trying, though. Veggies are still an exciting new frontier for him.

Here's what you need:
Software:

• 1 head of cauliflower
• 1/2 cup of flour
• 1/2 cup of water
• 2 tbs buttah
• Your choice of buffalo sauce or hot sauce
• The Holy Trinity (salt, pepper, garlic powder)
• Cooking spray and/or parchment paper
• Bleu Cheese or Ranch dressing for dip-dips

Hardware:

• Baking sheet
• Measuring cups
• Whisk
• Large bowl or 2
• Wee bowl (microwaveable)
• Thongs
• Cutting board
• Kitchen knife

Now let's make some veggie "wings"!

1. Preheat your oven to 450 (Crank the AC if you have one in the kitchen-450 is sweat inducing- you lucky, lucky bitch).
2. Cut that beautiful head of cruciferous goodness (that's the cauliflower)! Cut out the green leafy bottom. Then cut into bite-sized florets.
   
3. In a bowl add flour and The Holy Trinity to taste. mix together with whisk and start adding water slowly. The batter you end with should be pancake batter thick or a little thinner. If you don't like the consistency, add more water or flour until you are happy with it.
   
4. Ready your baking sheet for a trip to tasty town. If using parchment paper, you don't NEED cooking spray but feel free to use it if you like. Otherwise, spray yo' sheet.
5. Now dip that shit! Cover the whole floret in batter and shake off the excess. Place on sheet. Repeat until all the cauliflower is coated, then toss in the oven.
   
6. Bake approx 10 minutes. Batter should be kind of firm but not browned.
7. While its baking, make some sauce. Melt the butter in the microwave-or if you are in a teeny tiny apartment and don't have a microwave, make a double boiler and melt some butter. Pour in Buffalo sauce (I dig Frank's or Archer Farms-the Target brand) and add some garlic powder. mix together. I think I used about half of the bottle.
   
8. Take the veg out and toss it in the sauce, coating each piece with firey deliciousness. Return to baking sheet and pop back in the oven.
9. Bake another 15 minutes or until the batter has firmed back up. Bake longer for a crunchy coating.
   
10. Plate and serve with a side of dip-dips. I prefer Marie's bleu cheese dressing.
11. Die of happiness before the cruciferous-ness works its questionable magic (wink, wink).

Happy snacking!
-MPA

The Revised TBT

For the last few weeks, my thoughts have consumed me. I have been a tsunami of emotions from happy to terribly depressed. Unfortunately, this is how I roll. Even more unfortunately, it is what I am like when I turn my thoughts in on myself. To reflect on one's actions and decisions is overwhelming when your foundation of self-love ranges from very small to non-existent. It was something I needed to do, to help me make a new Thirty Before Thirty list. With approximately 13 months to go, I fear that I will fail on the majority to items on the list. Not because I don't want to do them, but because I fear failure as much as I fear death (spiders, snakes, and other assorted insects tie for the things I fear second most of all).

Here is the revised list. Here is to hoping that by sticking to it and completing it, I learn to fear failing less and embrace putting myself out there more.

TBT-Revised

1. Start a garden including veggies, fruit, and flowers.

2. Make my own cleaning products (home and body).

3. Be better about cleaning and laundry.

4. Spend more time baking and making candy.

5. Get caught up and on track financially.

6. Make ice cream.

7. Make pasta by hand.

8. Journal. Started!

9. Cook 2 new recipes a month, one of which should be non-American.

10. Learn to sew better/actually make things.

11. Read 75 books. No genre limitations.

12. Go to the Museum of Fine Arts in Boston.

13. Take dance lessons.

14. Join a gym and actually go.

15. Get a tattoo.

16. Learn to play the Ukulele.

17.Take more pictures.

18. Stick to a personal style instead of buying things because they fit.

19. Get a drastic new hair cut. Done, and redone.

20. Eat more locally grown/raised food.

21. Cut out gluten and stick to it. This means baking gluten free too.

22. Go on dates with my husband, at least monthly.

23. Start writing again-Blogging and journaling do not count.

24. Go back to Disney World.

25. Redecorate and refurnish the apartment.

26. Catalog my recipes.

27. Go to Cape Cod.

28. Splurge on a pair of boots.

29. Be touristy around New England.

30. Actually celebrate my 30th birthday. 

Sometimes I Drop the Ball

I posted a Thirty Before Thirty.

I have accomplished one thing-the drastic hair do. Started journaling, stopped. Started reading, keep getting side tracked.

In this time, I have inspired others to make their own lists. Win?

We are rapidly approaching my 29th birthday and I feel like my own goals are causing me to be hyper-worried about the big three-oh.

After much thought (and, admittedly, a few tears), I think I need to reassess my TBT goals. I don't think I am in the same place as I was when I made the original list, nor do I think all of the same things are important to me.

I have been spending a lot of my time wondering what I should do with my life (in terms of school and work, things of that nature). Some of it is beneficial and some not so much. It also doesn't help that I feel like absolute garbage. I haven't been watching what I eat and have been eating way too much gluten. I am starting to feel sluggish and exhausted constantly in addition to all of the fun that accompanies eating wheat-y things.

So, here is to reassessing as we change. To picking up our pieces when we fall apart and to trying to reconcile that to be human is to make some mistakes.

TBT #11: Books

#11 of my Thirty Before Thirty is to read 100 books with no genre exclusions.
 
I am 4 down. 96 to go. This is actually kind of a bummer. I feel like I need to be deeper into this by now to make the goal. Luckily, we took a trip to the Used Book Superstore as well as Barnes and Noble last weekend where I hit the crazy sale section and got a few things to hold me over.
 
I have decided that while I am reading these books, I might as well review them as well. Follow the read more link below to see the reviews.
 
The List (so far):

1. Six Train to Wisconsin by Kourtney Heintz (fiction, occult)
2. The Diviners by Libba Bray (YA fiction, occult)
3. An Object of Beauty by Steve Martin (fiction, art)
4. The Potty Mouth at the Table by Laurie Notaro (humor, memoir/essays)

 
In Progress:

1. How to be a Woman by Caitlin Moran (humor, memoir, women's studies)
2. Freakonomics by Steven D. Levitt and Stephen J. Dubner (economics)
3. The Mists of Avalon by Marion Zimmer Bradley (fiction, fantasy)

 
On Deck:

1. Manifesta: Young Women, Feminism, and the Future by Jennifer Baumgardner and Amy Richards (Women's Studies)
2. A Discovery of Witches by Deborah Harkness (fiction, historical-fantasy, occult)
3. Tough Shit: Life Advice from a Fat, Lazy Slob Who Did Good by Kevin Smith (humor)

 
Some of these have been in progress for a while *cough*Avalon*cough*. I have my work cut out for me, for sure.
 
Good thing I like reading, huh?
 

TBT #19--Accomplished

19. Get a drastic new hair cut.

So, about a month or so ago, I shaved part of my head. Not a lot... maybe like half of a half. Or if you excel at math and fractions, 1/4th. 25%.
 
The Husband and I spent a few hours this weekend bleaching my naturally dark hair and the black dye I used months ago out. My hair is a honey badger. In true honey badger fashion, IT DOES NOT GIVE A FUCK. Hulk smash puny bleach! it came out approx. 99 different colors. After two days of bleaching, I let it rest. It deserved a rest as it took 3 bleach kits in 2 days and didn't fall out. I would have bought the best Tina Turner wig I could have if it had. The higher the hair, the closer to God afterall.
 
Last night, in the salon (and by salon I mean teeny tiny bathroom) The Husband graciously donned gloves and dyed my hair Nuclear Read (by Special Effects). Also known as Brighter Than the Day Star Red and HAHAHAHAHA Fire Trucks Got Nothin' on This Red. After letting it percolate for 2 episodes of My Little Pony, it was time to rinse. And now my tub looks like a crime scene. But! My hair is fabulous. Win.
 
I've always enjoyed non-natural colored hair. I started doing this crap to my hair in 6th grade. Its been a while and I have been surprised by my co-workers responses. Generally, they have been very nice. Nicer than I assumed.
 
That being said, Listen y'all: I KNOW my hair is red. It was intentional. I didn't wake up and miss the mirror in the bathroom this morning. The Dye Fairy did not visit me in my sleep. This is not a surprise for me. Nor should it be for you. I told all of you while i was 50 shades of bleached that it was going to be red. "You're hair is ..... (awkward pause)...uh... (awkward pause)...red (smirk)" doesn't make you funny or creative. And while Red was my favorite Fraggle, there is no need to make my nickname "Red." You are better than that. Let's lay it to rest with my other work nicknames: Cupcake, Piercings, and Holes.

Sister from another Mister?

Joking aside, I understand that having loud hair that isn't "normal" (whatever that means) opens me up to comments and ridicule. That is fine. Just respect my intelligence and yourself enough to make it creative.

Thirty Before Thirty

The idea of turning thirty has been consuming me since I turned 27. That was a year and a half ago. I don't like thinking about getting old. It makes me obsessed with my own mortality.


My sister-in-law blogged about her own 30 before 30 list. I really liked the idea and decided I would do one as well. It will help me confront my issues with mortality as well as make the next year and 7 months as meaningful as possible.



Instead of this:

Maybe it can be like this:

My Thirty Before Thirty:

1. Start a garden including veggies, fruit, and flowers.

2. Make my own cleaning products (home and body).

3. Be better about cleaning and laundry.

4. Persue baking and candy making as a side job.

5. Get caught up and on track financially.

6. Make ice cream.

7. Make pasta by hand.

8. Journal. Started!

9. Seriously learn to knit or crochet.

10. Learn to sew better/actually make things.

11. Read 100 books. No genre limitations.

12. Go to the Museum of Fine Arts in Boston.

13. Take dance lessons.

14. Join a gym and actually go.

15. Get a tattoo.

16. Learn to play the Ukulele.

17.Take more pictures.

18. Develope a better personal style.

19. Get a drastic new hair cut.

20. Eat more locally grown/raised food.

21. Cut out gluten and stick to it. This means baking gluten free too.

22. Go on dates with my husband, at least monthly.

23. Make career/college decisions.

24. Go back to Disney World.

25. Redecorate and refurnish the apartment.

26. Catalog my recipes.

27. Go to Cape Cod.

28. Splurge on a pair of boots.

29. Be touristy around New England.

30. Get pregnant.

Here's to tackling the next 17 months head on.


-MPA