TBT #11: Books 5-13 and a Reading Challenge

For anyone keeping up with the math, I have hit 30.I woke up, found some grey hairs, and internally wept for my youth. Clearly, I didn't finish my TBT list, and decided to go for a different TBT - Thirty-five before Thirty-Five. While some revision of the list will be done, I am keeping the book goal and realized I have not only been terrible at keeping track of what I have read but also haven't done a review in AGES. Since book 4. I have tracked up to 13 but know I missed some along the way. #yolo

And, yes, I do count re-reads. Rereading a book is often as amazing as the first read, if not better. There is so much more detail you become open to because you aren't necessarily lost in plot.

Looking for some suggestions or some books to stay the eff away from? Check out the list below for some options.

But that can't be all, right? We certainly can't have a post without me pulling out a soapbox, can we? Well, we can. Today just isn't that day. Feel free to scroll right to the reviews if you would prefer. :)

Looking at the 13 books I have reviewed, I noticed approx. half were by women. White, cisgender women. The other half? White, cisgender men. Huzzah for the split of gender but where is the rest of the representation?

Schools often teach books by a lot of dead white men. I have decided to challenge myself, for the rest of the year to not read another book by a white, cisgender male author. There are so many authors out there that are not getting the credit they so richly deserve because they are women or non-white or non-binary in terms of gender or because they are trans. I am taking a stand to devote my time and resources to finding authors that break that mold. The only exceptions I will make are when the book club I am in votes for a white, cisgender male.Naturally, I will post reviews along the way. Please feel free to comment with suggestions.

Anyone feeling adventurous in reading? I challenge you to do the same. Maybe not for the rest of the year, but even just for your next book. Expand your horizons. Enrich your soul with words you may have never thought to read before.

For anyone who is confused by the term cisgender, it is most easily described as identifying with the sex you were assigned at birth. An example is someone who's sex is assigned male at birth and who's gender identity matches that, they are cisgender. Don't worry, I am sure this will be a topic of discussion at some point here.

-MPA

5. A Discovery of Witches by Deborah Harkness

 

I have been known to love some truly terrible books. Especially those about the supernatural. I bought this hardcover in the clearance section of Barnes and Nobel. I understood why it was there after reading it. While there were nice scenes and moments of well crafted writing, the book overall was fairly sophomoric. At times, I found it hilariously bad. Conceptually interesting, my hope is for anyone who reads on that they following books in the trilogy are better written. 2.5 out of 5. Would probably read the second book, providing I got it for free or heavily discounted.

 

 

6. A Lion Among Men (Book 3 of The Wicked Years) by Gregory Maguire

 





Can I start this off by saying I love Gregory Maguire? Because I do. Literally everything this man touches is fucking magic. Except this. I have 2 copies of this book. It took me approximately 6 years to read this book. 6 YEARS. Most of Maguire's books grab me from the beginning and hook me immediately. Lion did not do that. It seemed to drag forever. While I am sure it is a necessary step to the final Wicked book, Out of Oz, my experience with this book has actually stymied my progress with OoO. I fear reading it because Wicked and Son of a Witch have always been so important to me. Lion is a lot of exposition with little reward. Yackle steals the show but that is pretty normal for Yackle. 2.5 out of 5. Would not read again, but am happy I own it to complete the series.


7. Lost on Planet China by J. Maarten Troost

Like Maguire, I can't get enough of Troost. This is his third book, all of which are travel writing but this is his first time straying from writing about the South Pacific. He captures your attention immediately and holds it until the very end. Troost's prose is inviting, hilarious, and leads to fantastic imagery in your head while reading. Lost is Troost's solo trip through China, and not just areas we Americans are familiar with. He is fearless with his honesty, never shying away from the political conditions or the conditions of the air/streets/common public places. Troost may point out how different the Chinese are from Americans and he certainly points out the pollution issues, but he never fails to treat the people and China with respect. 5 out of 5. Would read again.



8. The Secret Garden by Frances Hodgson Burnett (re-read?)



I am not sure if this was a reread for me or if I just watched the movie adaptation so much I felt like it was. My first few chapters in, I was not happy. I kept wondering why the language used was so... basic. I completely forgot this wasn't a just a classic, it was a children's classic. Duh. Once I got past my own stupidity, the book was beautiful. Mary's growth from petulant, spoiled child to someone who can be compassionate is touching and a wonderful lesson to those reading it. 5 out of 5. Would read again, preferably aloud to a little one.

 

 

9. Revenge Wears Prada: The Devil Returns by Lauren Weisberger

 

This is one of those books that I HAD to read. I read the first one and loved it for everything (and please excuse my use of this phrase as it bothers the shit out of me but I have no other way to describe it) "chick lit" about it. Weisberger's characters are always easy to relate to and are easy to read. Her books are fast paced and Revenge follows that pattern. In this book, we return 10 years after we left The Devil Wears Prada and reunite with Andy and get to see where life after Miranda brought her. The ending was, for me, a little predictable but I would genuinely endorse this as a good read if you are looking for something a little less serious or a good beach read. It was interesting to see where the characters were at after a decade as well as how they have grown and the connections they made. Be warned: You won't be able to stop picture Meryl Streep as Miranda, no matter how hard you try. #StreepisQueen 3.5 out of 5. Would read again on a flight or the beach.

 

 

10. The Pearl by John Steinbeck (re-read)

TBH - I hated this book in 7th grade. Now? Pretty much the same. That being said, this novel is rich with imagery and symbolism. I find the story to move slowly as well as not very engaging. Being able to read it as an adult did provide a different experience, one where I could analyze it better and get a deeper meaning. 2 out of 5. Would prefer not to read again.

 

 

11. The Skull Throne (Book 4 of the Demon Cycle) by Peter V. Brett

 

The Demon Cycle series is fucking fantastic (ba dum tsssss. That is punny). It is a fantasy series that is written superbly. It has strong characters that are men, women, of multiple races, and gay. Brett has created a world based off of our own, that is in the future but is in so many ways both less and more advanced. He even created a second language for one of the races *swoon*. In this installment, there is a lot of exposition but the last 150 pages are jam packed with action. As always, Brett leaves you on the edge of your seat, staring over the cliff he so devilishly enjoys leaving you hanging on. My only complaint? The US cover features a character named Renna, one of the most bad-assiest bad asses in the books but she is not featured NEARLY enough to warrant being the cover. I was a tad bit let down over that. 5 out of 5. Will definitely read again.

 

 

12. Tough Sh*t by Kevin Smith

 

The cat is out of the bag. I LIVE for dick and fart jokes. Just as my co-workers. Whether it is old Sandler movies or anything Kevin Smith puts his paws on, I am there. Tough Sh*t is an interesting read. The writing is decent and the story engaging. You are taken through Smith's start at Miramax to where he is now, which is pretty fascinating stuff, especially when he gets into his run-ins with the Westboro Baptist Church. I found the time line while reading to be a bit skewed and the chapters skewed in terms of chronological order. This is a small detail but one the gets under my skin when reading. 3 out of 5. Would probably not read again.

 

 

13. The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo (Millennium Series, book 1) by Steig Larsson (re-read)

 

 

I have read this book about 4 times. It never ceases to capture my attention and bombard my senses. It is exquisite. Larsson brings to life beautifully flawed characters in a way that makes you love them more for their imperfections. This novel, is so feminist it hurts (in a good way). Yes, there are rape scenes and no, they are not comfortable to read. However, they work as a driving force in the novel instead of being gratuitous. The original title's translation to English is not the book's title. Instead, it is called "Men Who Hate Women." THIS IS SO IMPORTANT. Each section of the book lists facts and statistics about crimes against women. These were left in the translation but the title was changed, I assume for marketability. The original title makes a million times more sense as you work your way through the novel. Larsson, unfortunately, died before finishing his series (he had a partial book 4, and outlines for up to 10 books) but there is a new book coming out picking the characters up again but not using the original author's outlines. I assume it will be trash, but will probably read it at some point. 10 out of 5. Will always re-read if the opportunity presents itself. 























Tutorial: Buffalo Cauliflower

In an effort to try new recipes (ala TBT #9) and to eat vegetarian half of the week, The Husband suggested trying buffalo cauliflower "wings" MONTHS ago. This has made the weekly menu a few times but always gets knocked out for other tasty treats. This week, we bought a beautiful head of cauliflower from Whole Foods and stuck to the plan (go Team Awesome!).

I watched a bitchin' tutorial from The Rad Fat Vegan on youtube and read a few recipes to get a general idea of how to make it, then struck out on my own. We had a tight budget this week so I opted to use regular flour instead of buying tummy-friendly flour (read as: GF flours/rice flour/etc), but stuck mainly to the ingredient lists I saw-which were surprisingly almost all the same.

I could have baked them longer as I longed for more crunch. The Husband did not like it. At all. Good on him for trying, though. Veggies are still an exciting new frontier for him.

Here's what you need:
Software:

• 1 head of cauliflower
• 1/2 cup of flour
• 1/2 cup of water
• 2 tbs buttah
• Your choice of buffalo sauce or hot sauce
• The Holy Trinity (salt, pepper, garlic powder)
• Cooking spray and/or parchment paper
• Bleu Cheese or Ranch dressing for dip-dips

Hardware:

• Baking sheet
• Measuring cups
• Whisk
• Large bowl or 2
• Wee bowl (microwaveable)
• Thongs
• Cutting board
• Kitchen knife

Now let's make some veggie "wings"!

1. Preheat your oven to 450 (Crank the AC if you have one in the kitchen-450 is sweat inducing- you lucky, lucky bitch).
2. Cut that beautiful head of cruciferous goodness (that's the cauliflower)! Cut out the green leafy bottom. Then cut into bite-sized florets.
   
3. In a bowl add flour and The Holy Trinity to taste. mix together with whisk and start adding water slowly. The batter you end with should be pancake batter thick or a little thinner. If you don't like the consistency, add more water or flour until you are happy with it.
   
4. Ready your baking sheet for a trip to tasty town. If using parchment paper, you don't NEED cooking spray but feel free to use it if you like. Otherwise, spray yo' sheet.
5. Now dip that shit! Cover the whole floret in batter and shake off the excess. Place on sheet. Repeat until all the cauliflower is coated, then toss in the oven.
   
6. Bake approx 10 minutes. Batter should be kind of firm but not browned.
7. While its baking, make some sauce. Melt the butter in the microwave-or if you are in a teeny tiny apartment and don't have a microwave, make a double boiler and melt some butter. Pour in Buffalo sauce (I dig Frank's or Archer Farms-the Target brand) and add some garlic powder. mix together. I think I used about half of the bottle.
   
8. Take the veg out and toss it in the sauce, coating each piece with firey deliciousness. Return to baking sheet and pop back in the oven.
9. Bake another 15 minutes or until the batter has firmed back up. Bake longer for a crunchy coating.
   
10. Plate and serve with a side of dip-dips. I prefer Marie's bleu cheese dressing.
11. Die of happiness before the cruciferous-ness works its questionable magic (wink, wink).

Happy snacking!
-MPA

The Revised TBT

For the last few weeks, my thoughts have consumed me. I have been a tsunami of emotions from happy to terribly depressed. Unfortunately, this is how I roll. Even more unfortunately, it is what I am like when I turn my thoughts in on myself. To reflect on one's actions and decisions is overwhelming when your foundation of self-love ranges from very small to non-existent. It was something I needed to do, to help me make a new Thirty Before Thirty list. With approximately 13 months to go, I fear that I will fail on the majority to items on the list. Not because I don't want to do them, but because I fear failure as much as I fear death (spiders, snakes, and other assorted insects tie for the things I fear second most of all).

Here is the revised list. Here is to hoping that by sticking to it and completing it, I learn to fear failing less and embrace putting myself out there more.

TBT-Revised

1. Start a garden including veggies, fruit, and flowers.

2. Make my own cleaning products (home and body).

3. Be better about cleaning and laundry.

4. Spend more time baking and making candy.

5. Get caught up and on track financially.

6. Make ice cream.

7. Make pasta by hand.

8. Journal. Started!

9. Cook 2 new recipes a month, one of which should be non-American.

10. Learn to sew better/actually make things.

11. Read 75 books. No genre limitations.

12. Go to the Museum of Fine Arts in Boston.

13. Take dance lessons.

14. Join a gym and actually go.

15. Get a tattoo.

16. Learn to play the Ukulele.

17.Take more pictures.

18. Stick to a personal style instead of buying things because they fit.

19. Get a drastic new hair cut. Done, and redone.

20. Eat more locally grown/raised food.

21. Cut out gluten and stick to it. This means baking gluten free too.

22. Go on dates with my husband, at least monthly.

23. Start writing again-Blogging and journaling do not count.

24. Go back to Disney World.

25. Redecorate and refurnish the apartment.

26. Catalog my recipes.

27. Go to Cape Cod.

28. Splurge on a pair of boots.

29. Be touristy around New England.

30. Actually celebrate my 30th birthday. 

Fighting Food

I made a list around New Year's, aside from my TBT, of goals for the year. There is a little overlap but I decided instead of resolutions (which I inevitably break within a week) I would list out somethings to work on:

• Make healthier choices in terms of food and exercise.
• Work on my TBT list.
• Actively "date" The Husband.
• Spend more time with friends.
• Experiment more in the kitchen, both in terms of ingredients and recipes.
• Cut myself some slack. (self depreciation doesn't have to be my go to)
• Go back to Disney.
• Start learning a new language.
• Work on Rocky Horror costumes for Eddie and Frank, maybe Janet.

Food has always been my drug of choice and probably always will be. For me, nothing beats a terrible day like tearing into some food. I am not discerning either. While I am no Anthony Bourdain, there is little I will say no to. Stuffing myself to uphoria was the easiest way to cope in a world I felt I had little control over. Now, as an adult, I get to deal with the aftermath.

The Husband and I decided to start eating healthier. It certainly helped that I had been eating less gluten. The cutting out of breads and traditional pasta made the jump to healthier eating seem easier. When we went to  Disney World this winter, The Husband rediscovered mushrooms and green beans...even going as far to admit mushrooms made his meal better. Whoa. For him, that is huge. When we met, he was staunchly anti-veggie. Over our first 4 years together, I intergrated a lot of onion and pepper into our diet. I would also harrass him into trying other veggies that I made. He came around to asparagus on his own and I felt so proud of him. But then mushrooms were added and I was elated.

It was him who suggested we eat vegetarian a few nights a week. I tried to make it 3-4 out of 7 nights. I also cut meat out of my own lunches for a while as well as breakfasts.

We both saw the benefits of this change pretty quickly. He slimmed out in his chest and waist. I honestly don't think I look any thinner but people have said I do so I will go with that. We also felt better. We live on the fourth floor and the stairs became much easier as we ate better. The more gluten I cut out, the less migraines, nausea, and gastro issues I experienced.

Lately, we have fallen off the wagon. There has been a lot of take-out recently. My depression and anxiety have been pretty terrible. I don't want to cook (which is something I love doing) or do dishes or really do anything but sit on the couch and harrass the cats to sit with me. I have not been as careful as I should with gluten and have made myself sick almost daily because of it. But it didn't stop me. My personal well being was forgotten in order for me to feed the demons I have.

Addiction is something people don't like to talk about. When they do, it's usually only in reference to drugs, alcohol, and nicotine. Food should be right up there. It is a way of feeling high while remaining functional. The cravings can be painful. I try to keep snacks at my desk that won't make me feel guilty or shame if I eat them (vegetable root chips, gluten free rolled oats and sugar free syrup in the fridge), to help tame the need to eat while retaining some of my goal to be healthier.

Eggs and steamed rice have become my go to for nights I can't bring myself to answer the door for delivery... Wondering if the delivery person is silently judging me for ordering again in the same week. You'd think this anxiety would motivate me to cook and get back on track. That's a big fat no. It makes me want to have The Husband answer or have us alternate who goes in to pick it up so its not always the same face. My shame and guilt consume me, causing depression to a point where my body hurts. I feel like an awful person and a terrible wife.

The worst part in all of this, is that I am one of those assholes that watches food documentaries, who will shell out more money to buy organic and non-GMO products. I get on my wee soapbox to talk about chemicals we ingest and the state of farming in the country. But once the depression and anxiety hit hard... NONE OF IT MATTERS. I am 15 again: Boys don't like me because I am fat and ugly; I think no one actually likes me in general, they just pretend so they don't hurt my feelings; I am not good enough for anything, EVER; I am not worth saving.

I know these are all things I have to work on. I suppose in reality enough people like me for being me. And at least one boy likes me... He heard Beyonce and knew he had to put a ring on it. The rest? I am not on board with refuting yet. I am hoping sticking to eating well and cutting myself some slack will help.

TBT #11: Books

#11 of my Thirty Before Thirty is to read 100 books with no genre exclusions.
 
I am 4 down. 96 to go. This is actually kind of a bummer. I feel like I need to be deeper into this by now to make the goal. Luckily, we took a trip to the Used Book Superstore as well as Barnes and Noble last weekend where I hit the crazy sale section and got a few things to hold me over.
 
I have decided that while I am reading these books, I might as well review them as well. Follow the read more link below to see the reviews.
 
The List (so far):

1. Six Train to Wisconsin by Kourtney Heintz (fiction, occult)
2. The Diviners by Libba Bray (YA fiction, occult)
3. An Object of Beauty by Steve Martin (fiction, art)
4. The Potty Mouth at the Table by Laurie Notaro (humor, memoir/essays)

 
In Progress:

1. How to be a Woman by Caitlin Moran (humor, memoir, women's studies)
2. Freakonomics by Steven D. Levitt and Stephen J. Dubner (economics)
3. The Mists of Avalon by Marion Zimmer Bradley (fiction, fantasy)

 
On Deck:

1. Manifesta: Young Women, Feminism, and the Future by Jennifer Baumgardner and Amy Richards (Women's Studies)
2. A Discovery of Witches by Deborah Harkness (fiction, historical-fantasy, occult)
3. Tough Shit: Life Advice from a Fat, Lazy Slob Who Did Good by Kevin Smith (humor)

 
Some of these have been in progress for a while *cough*Avalon*cough*. I have my work cut out for me, for sure.
 
Good thing I like reading, huh?
 

TBT #19--Accomplished

19. Get a drastic new hair cut.

So, about a month or so ago, I shaved part of my head. Not a lot... maybe like half of a half. Or if you excel at math and fractions, 1/4th. 25%.
 
The Husband and I spent a few hours this weekend bleaching my naturally dark hair and the black dye I used months ago out. My hair is a honey badger. In true honey badger fashion, IT DOES NOT GIVE A FUCK. Hulk smash puny bleach! it came out approx. 99 different colors. After two days of bleaching, I let it rest. It deserved a rest as it took 3 bleach kits in 2 days and didn't fall out. I would have bought the best Tina Turner wig I could have if it had. The higher the hair, the closer to God afterall.
 
Last night, in the salon (and by salon I mean teeny tiny bathroom) The Husband graciously donned gloves and dyed my hair Nuclear Read (by Special Effects). Also known as Brighter Than the Day Star Red and HAHAHAHAHA Fire Trucks Got Nothin' on This Red. After letting it percolate for 2 episodes of My Little Pony, it was time to rinse. And now my tub looks like a crime scene. But! My hair is fabulous. Win.
 
I've always enjoyed non-natural colored hair. I started doing this crap to my hair in 6th grade. Its been a while and I have been surprised by my co-workers responses. Generally, they have been very nice. Nicer than I assumed.
 
That being said, Listen y'all: I KNOW my hair is red. It was intentional. I didn't wake up and miss the mirror in the bathroom this morning. The Dye Fairy did not visit me in my sleep. This is not a surprise for me. Nor should it be for you. I told all of you while i was 50 shades of bleached that it was going to be red. "You're hair is ..... (awkward pause)...uh... (awkward pause)...red (smirk)" doesn't make you funny or creative. And while Red was my favorite Fraggle, there is no need to make my nickname "Red." You are better than that. Let's lay it to rest with my other work nicknames: Cupcake, Piercings, and Holes.

Sister from another Mister?

Joking aside, I understand that having loud hair that isn't "normal" (whatever that means) opens me up to comments and ridicule. That is fine. Just respect my intelligence and yourself enough to make it creative.

Thirty Before Thirty

The idea of turning thirty has been consuming me since I turned 27. That was a year and a half ago. I don't like thinking about getting old. It makes me obsessed with my own mortality.


My sister-in-law blogged about her own 30 before 30 list. I really liked the idea and decided I would do one as well. It will help me confront my issues with mortality as well as make the next year and 7 months as meaningful as possible.



Instead of this:

Maybe it can be like this:

My Thirty Before Thirty:

1. Start a garden including veggies, fruit, and flowers.

2. Make my own cleaning products (home and body).

3. Be better about cleaning and laundry.

4. Persue baking and candy making as a side job.

5. Get caught up and on track financially.

6. Make ice cream.

7. Make pasta by hand.

8. Journal. Started!

9. Seriously learn to knit or crochet.

10. Learn to sew better/actually make things.

11. Read 100 books. No genre limitations.

12. Go to the Museum of Fine Arts in Boston.

13. Take dance lessons.

14. Join a gym and actually go.

15. Get a tattoo.

16. Learn to play the Ukulele.

17.Take more pictures.

18. Develope a better personal style.

19. Get a drastic new hair cut.

20. Eat more locally grown/raised food.

21. Cut out gluten and stick to it. This means baking gluten free too.

22. Go on dates with my husband, at least monthly.

23. Make career/college decisions.

24. Go back to Disney World.

25. Redecorate and refurnish the apartment.

26. Catalog my recipes.

27. Go to Cape Cod.

28. Splurge on a pair of boots.

29. Be touristy around New England.

30. Get pregnant.

Here's to tackling the next 17 months head on.


-MPA