Free Range MPA?

I woke up 2 hours before I technically hit 33. At 4 hours removed I could say that it feels like 32 but with a migraine and knee pain.

It got me thinking about all the ways I don't recognize myself. Yes, my upper arms wave when I do and my meaty forearm ends in cankle-like wrist before spitting out stubby hands with sausage fingers. Yes, I may have gained a chin. And, yes... I am still a mixture of appalled and sad when I see myself from the side in a mirror. I am still quick with a trivia answer as well as with sharp wit. Indulging in garbage pop music is still delightful. But fundamentally a few things have changed.

The Husband went out for a day with the nephews Monday. After picking me up from work we dropped his PIC off at his home and ended up at an intersection with a Farmer's Market. It took immense self control not to scream that we should go check it out. I am planning a trip to Portland with a friend and one of the things I am most hype about is going to a Farmer's Market. Not drinks. Not poutine made with french fries that have been fried to perfection in duck fat. Nope. The Farmer's Market. And not JUST the Farmer's Market, guys. My excitement over locally grown Maine produce and artisan shit has me wondering not which breweries to tour but how many reusable shopping bags to pack. I want to wander around Whole Foods and Common Crow or any other natural grocery store. The smell of small natural markets is the purest smell on Earth.

WHY AM I EXCITED ABOUT FREE RANGE MEAT AND LOCALLY GROWN PRODUCTS?

WHY AM I WEARING NATURAL DEODORANT?

WHY DO I SUDDENLY WANT TO THRIFT FOR DOZENS OF JARS?

But the horrors don’t end there.

I spend my free time watching vegan videos on YouTube. I watch videos on zero waste life styles. I signed a pledge to stop using single-use straws (which I think should still be made available for those who need them but like maybe we shift to the paper ones?). I question whether I should order coffee via mobile pick-up because it means I sacrifice bringing a reusable cup for convenience. When grocery shopping I lament buying soaps/detergents I could easily make at home and paper towels when I could use a washable option. If we have kids do I go the fabric diaper route? Or those rad ones that breakup in the toilet and are flush-able?

And don’t get me started on period products. The tax is enough to piss me off but all that waste?!?! Do I order washable pads? Do I switch to the cup?

The madness seems to be permanent. It grows every year. Is this adulting? No one warned me about this. No one told me I would slowly turn into a hippie. My go to when leaving or entering a room, letting a car go, being let through by another car, taking pictures, or apparently just existing is to throw up a peace sign. I think shaving is a stupid societal convention the patriarchy uses to make women feel less than. I can’t wash my hair daily if I want to keep the dye vibrant and it does not bother me at all. It is like as I age I go more rogue but the idea of it is almost comforting - as if aging gives me a free pass to live my crazy hippie dreams and everyone will just look at me and quietly say to each other “ahhh, she must be over 30” like it naturally explains my behavior.

I suppose it isn’t a bad place to be but it sure will take some time to get used to this me that wonders where on the North Shore I can buy shampoo and conditioner in mason jars I brought in, weighed empty, filled, weighed again, and bicker with the cashier before asking for the manager who I greet with a peace sign.

Reading, Writing, YouTubing

Hey, Friends!

I am working on some posts about street harassment and slut shaming but while I am away, I thought I'd holla at you with some various types of media I follow that may tickle your giggle or make you think.

Magazines
In addition to cooking magazines (Taste of Home and Food Network) I am a big supporter of feminist publications. I have been reading Bitch (https://bitchmedia.org/ ), Bust ( http://bust.com/ ), and Ms. ( http://www.msmagazine.com/) since I was in my late teens/early 20s. All have great pieces with different view points of feminist issues here and abroad. Bitch (and Bust as well, I believe) also take submissions. they also have great reviews of books, music, and movies with a feminist scope.

For a non-paper magazine, check out xoJane ( www.xojane.com ). If you were a fan of Sassy or Jane when they were in print, you will be sure to dig this as well. It is a site that devotes itself to allowing women to be themselves, unabashedly, and celebrates every aspect of them. It is written by the xoJane community, meaning anyone is welcome to submit articles to them. Which is pretty rad.

Comic Books
Yeah. You read that right. I have rediscovered comic books and am so terribly happy I have. All of the books I read currently (and, I know this will be a horrific shock to you) have prominent female characters that range from the traditional female comic book style of art (think short/tight outfits that cover very little) to very covered but still badass. Here is what is on my list:

The Unbeatable Squirrel Girl: This is funny and cute and perfect. I am obsessed with squirrels so Doreen is what I want to be when I grow up. She is a girl who is trying to get through college while saving the world.

Ms. Marvel: Kamala Khan (Ms. Marvel) is a Pakistani teen from Jersey City. She is learning to control her powers as well as her limits while going to school, trying to be the perfect daughter, and (natch) save the world. The way the writers flawlessly blend her home life and culture into the book is endearing and fresh.

A Force: All female Avengers. All bad ass.

Lumberjanes: If girl scout camp and the occult/mythical had a baby, Lumberjanes would be the result. It is cute and age appropriate for teens while still being enjoyable for adults.

Thor: Odinson is no longer worthy to wield Mjolnir. The only one worthy? A woman. And holy shit does that mess with a lot of people/gods.

Bitch Planet: Women found non-compliant are shipped to a prison known as Bitch Planet. This book shows women of all shapes/sizes/races and soon (#kindaspoileralert) transwomen as well. It is written well, drawn beautifully, and has been striking a MAJOR cord with feminists everywhere. They end each issue with an essay that discusses feminism or women's issues.

YouTube
Oh YouTube. How much time I waste on you! I have recently become super into watching videos/following different channels. My taste is a little...everywhere. Most of what I follow is funny or tutorial based. With each channel, I have added a video they have out that I really like.

Glam & Gore: This is a make-up tutorial channel that covers... Glam and gore (get it? It's in the title.) Mykie covers basics like blending, eyebrow filling, and contouring as well as special effect make-up. She is also really flippin' adorable. The video posted is based on Wicked Witch make-up. She does a normal version based on Elphaba in Wicked, then the melty goodness of the original witch. She also does a really cute sloth to zombie sloth tutorial. Annnnd she calls her followers zombaes which I think is hilarious.

 

MyHarto: I have a HUGE crush on Hannah Hart. Sweet Jesus. She does the My Drunk Kitchen series as well as vlogs. Her followers also do great community service projects they call "have a hart day." I can't even with how sweet that is. Below is from the My Drunk Kitchen college series: how to make Sriracha Chicken.



 

Mamrie Hart: I found out about Mamrie when I saw her on an episode of @Midnight. She is hilarious and sometimes a little filthy which is a winning combination for me. She has 2 channels, Mamrie Hart and mametown. Mamrie Hart houses her hilarious You Deserve a Drink series while mametown is home to collaborations and other characters she has. Beanz, her dog who always has their tongue out derpily to the side, appears on both. Given the season, I felt her toast to fall (which is absolute perfection) was the best choice as it tickled my giggledick and spoke to the struggle of spending fall in a warm place.

 



 

IISuperwomanII: Lilly Singh is funny and smart. A lot of her videos feature her playing her parents. She riffs on the cultural differences of her family between generations in a light hearted way. I am going to cheat and post two videos because I CAN MUAHAHAHAHAHA. Well, really because One of them actually shows a bunch of YouTubers I watch in one video. I never realized how these people have come together and built friendships based on enjoying each others content and collaborating. They are making YouTube a community. I have been a Jenna Marbles fan for a few years and saw she is in the video, as well as Colleen Ballinger (who most people on YouTube know as Miranda Sings), Hannah Hart, Mamrie Hart, and others. The second video is just Lilly and a guest appearance from Kunal Nayyar (of Big Bang Theory fame) and is a humorous retelling of how her parents met.

 



 

The Portuguese Kids: This speaks to my soul. It is a clever, funny, and brilliant look at what it is like to grow up in a Portuguese home when you are the first generation to be born here. It highlights cultural differences perfectly without being too heavy. This video focuses on what it is like for girls to grow up or live in a Portuguese home.