Pinterest Diaries: Quinoa Pizza Bites

Winter is a tough time for me. I feel like it is for most people living in areas where there isn’t much sun or warmth. Luckily, it has been much warmer than usual but as we here in Massachusetts get ready to brace ourselves for a Valentine’s weekend where the temps will go below zero I want to talk about something that warms my heart. Something that comforts me and doesn’t judge me, a true beacon of hope when all else seems amiss - and that, friends, is Pizza.

I love pizza. You know those people who say there is no such thing as bad pizza? I disagree. There are varying degrees of goodness and so much to consider - sauce, cheese blend, cheese stretch, crust, toppings, things to shake on it, things for it to be dipped in… It is enough to make this fat girl cry. I eat all kinds of pizza from like really high quality to really shitty take out to an array of frozen. [PSA: If you need a frozen pizza and can be ok with spending like $9 on it, PLEASE try Screamin’ Sicilian. Hands down the best frozen pizza I have ever had. One I would eat over some take out places.] I will take it in any form. I love pizza rolls and pizza-dillas equally. Deep dish or thin crust, I DGAF - just gimme dat pie!

If you have been here before, you may be wondering how I eat all this pizza and keep talking about being Gluten Free. The answer is that there are a few things in this world where I will invoke #YOLO and eat wheat only to *sometimes* regret it later (sometimes I find it worth it. DON’T BE LIKE ME. BE STRONGER THAN THAT). Pizza is at the top of my list. With the winter woes taking hold I have been extra hard on myself about this. Some of it is purely economical because GF stuff, especially GOOD GF stuff, is often pricier. Some of it is that I prefer to cram feelings and insecurities down by way of food. I decided I needed an easy way to get pizza without wanting to die after.

I pinned a recipe for Quinoa Pizza Bites a few weeks ago and decided to give it a try. It seemed fairly inexpensive and easy to do, which it was. It called for a mini muffin pan and if you have one I highly suggest using it to avoid touching the raw mixture. They were really good, held their shape well, and were filling. The Husband annihilated them, so two thumbs up from them? It is easily something you could make vegetarian as well. Maybe vegan? But I am not really sure if there is a vegan substitute for eggs and didn’t research that before writing this (sorry!).

Ingredients

1 cup of cooked Quinoa (I used white and the recipe calls for that but I feel like this could be mad good with couscous or another type or quinoa. Shit, even rice. **I did NOT cook this ahead of time, which I told myself to do multiple times. I suggest doing it ahead of time so it is easy to handle)

⅓ cup of pepperoni (I used sliced pizza pepperoni that I cut up. I could see how using a stick would also be good)

3 large eggs (I used 2 because I DO WHAT I WANT, RECIPE. DON’T TELL ME WHAT TO…. oh, that is what you are there for)

1 Cup of mozzarella

¼ tsp salt

Optional: Marinara/spaghetti/pizza sauce for dip dips

Cook the quinoa as directed on the package. If you are Fancy AF like me, substitute stock for water to impart more flavor on those magic grains. Again, I suggest doing this ahead of time and letting it cool.

Preheat your oven to 350.

Chop up your pepperoni. I cut them in stacks into four strips then in half.

This is where I went rouge. Unless this is your first time reading a recipe here, you are probably surprised it took this long but I supposed not pre-cooking the quinoa was my first step to being a rebel.

It calls for ⅓ cup. I used about half. Maybe more. I also suggest making sure there is some for your snacking pleasure.

Season your quinoa. I don’t know if you noticed the lack of seasoning listed above. WHAT MONSTER DOESN’T SEASON SOMETHING? NOT ONE SINGLE GRAIN OF GARLIC POWDER MENTIONED?IN WHAT WORLD IS THE HOLY TRINITY NOT A STAPLE? One I don’t want to live in, clearly. I added salt, pepper, garlic powder, basil, and red pepper flakes… and some parmesan cheese. Mix and taste. Add more as needed. One thing I wish I knew ahead of time was that after the eggs are added and it bakes, the flavor mellows out A LOT. So bump up that flavor.

Add pepperoni and cheese. I didn’t measure and just threw in a few paws full... Nor did I use a straight mozzarella cheese. I went Italian style blend. I feel like my batch needed more cheese but that is possibly my own fault for not following directions. Combine.

 

Crack on your eggs and mix well.

If you are a super adult and have a mini muffin pan, spray it with cooking spray and fill it. If you suck at adulting, like me, get ready to hate everything. Just going to free ball it? (Literally. Make balls of this mixture free hand. Pervs.) Dig in. I rolled balls of the mix together then formed weird blobs that were vaguely cookie-esque/cake like. Place these mounds of terrifying texture (which I promise is 10 times better when cooked) on a cookie sheet that you have sprayed with cooking spray.

The recipe said to bake for 25-30 minutes or until browned. I would say I had these in for about 35. I was not satisfied with the browning but they smelled really good and to be honest I find the scent of pepperoni too intoxicating to be patient.

It then suggests you remove the bites and put them on a cooling rack. I chose to pile them on a plate and get to eatin’. You chose.

FAF: Making Ganache

FAF is a new tutorial-ish series for the blog! Fancy As Fuck will cover some grade A, 10 out of 10, ridiculous crafting, cooking, and kitchen witchery.

In the introductory FAF, let's gush about ganache.

So, WTF is ganache? You know that moment when you bite into a truffle and once past the shell you get freakishly delicious, not solid but not liquid/semi-set (ish) ribbon-y center of bliss? THAT is ganache. Ganache can be used to fill cakes, cookies, cupcakes, candy, croissants (if you're into that...mmmmm with a little hazelnut or almond? *drool*)...anything really. It can even be used in lieu of frosting or mixed into it. It is the stuff of dreams, and I don't even really like chocolate.

Something so decadent is hard to make, right? NO. IT IS WICKED EASY. (whoa, I see I opened my mouth and Massachusetts fell out...)

I made The Husband truffles for his birthday and snapped some pictures to walk ya'll through the magic. The base of ganache is simple:

• chocolate (in this case, white chocolate with vanilla beans) - I used 9 oz
• heavy cream - for the amount of chocolate, 1/3 cup plus 1 tbs
• vanilla
• butter - 1/2 a stick
• salt
• added flavors (optional-in this case, root beer schnapps)
• The rest of the items (chips and oil) are for making the crust on the truffles, which we can go over another day.

Some recipes call for adding corn syrup. I have never added it so I can not speak to what it does for texture or anything.

I like to start by chopping the CRAP out of my chocolate. I try to cut very thin, almost shaving it on an angle, then chopping any larger pieces as I go. Work as quickly as you can in as cool an environment as possible so the chocolate doesn't melt.



Something essential to this operation is a double boiler. If you don't have one, they are super easy and quick to rig. You fill a pot of water up partially. The bowl you place into it should sit on the edges so as not to fall in. The bottom of the bowl should not touch the water beneath it. Be careful of how hot the bowl will get and any steam that vents out while you work. Once the water is boiling and the bowl has been placed, add butter and melt. Once melted, add in the chocolate.

At this point, I like to stir in the salt as well, just a pinch. Mix the chocolate constantly to avoid it burning and to beat in any lumps. White chocolate will look like it has "broken" (kind of oily and lumpy and like it is not good for eating) but keep at it. It has a higher fat content so it will do that but it will come back together. Once melted, add the cream, mixing it in slowly.

At this point, add in your vanilla and other flavors. I always eyeball vanilla, so I would say a few splashes? When adding in other flavors, keep in mind adding more liquid will result in a very.. loose ganache. Which is what happened to me. If adding in zest, spices, other candy, mix and transfer to a dish to chill in. Pop in the fridge over night if you are making truffles or cool and use as frosting/filling.

If you are like me and are heavy handed when you add booze to your truffles, you may need to chop up more chocolate and melt some into your mixture to tighten it back up.

Once chilled, it should be kind of firm when you touch it. Not hard, not squishy; firm but moldable. It is easiest, if using for truffles, to scoop using a melon baller. Or in my case, a measuring spoon. Mine is a bit too squishy so I had to make truffle cups using small cupcake wrappers.
                                            

That is it. That is literally all there is to making ganache.

Go forth and eat delicious chocolate. Impress your friends with your skills.

Pinterest Diaries: Enchilada Dip

**Hey, Friends!
I am heading to Flo.Rida (Am I the only one that finds that hilarious?) until Monday. I will be posting pictures and videos on my Instagram and Snapchat (username on both: whofavorsfire). There may be a day at Disneyworld while I am there, so get ready for magical Halloween-y overload!

While I am away, I am going to try this post scheduling tool here on the blog AND on the FB. The posts will be a few food tutorials and post about media I am into. Hoping it goes off without a hitch!

For Labor Day, we had a family shindig and I decided to flex my appetizer skills by making a dip. I scoured the internet looking for something tasty and stumbled across enchilada dip. I LOVE ENCHILADAS. I keep enchilada sauce on hand at all times. Casserole, mixed into Mexican themed rice, mixed into sour cream for added zip, or even just regular enchiladas. I don't discriminate. Get in my belly. Right meow.

After discussing if this was a good plan with The Husband, I took a trip to Trader Joe's to get some stuff.  Here is what the recipe called for:

1½ - 2 pounds ground beef

½ medium onion, diced

2 cloves garlic, minced

2 cups enchilada sauce

2 cups grated Monterrey Jack or cheddar cheese

Sour Cream (optional)

Tortilla Chips (optional)

 

In my head, I had an idea of what was needed. I know how to make enchiladas and I know how to make dip. So I went into the store sans list. Whoops. I went rogue much sooner than usual. I ended up with:

                                                     

 

Anyone versed in the world of dip making knows that a traditional creamy dip has at least two of the following in it: Sour Cream, Cream Cheese, or Mayonnaise. Consider this dip's holy trinity. I didn't realize heading in that this "dip" I found broke the sacred rule. I ended up using sour cream and cream cheese because #yolo, that's why. I also decided to add bell pepper, beans, and corn to make it a bit more hearty. I also swapped ground beef for ground turkey and used a mix of red and green enchilada sauce. PLEASE MAKE SURE TO READ YOUR LABELS IF YOU HAVE DIETARY ISSUES. After eating a metric shitload of this dip, I got really sick. The extremely delicious Trader Joe's enchilada sauce (my g-d go to sauce) has wheat in it. Use a GF sauce if you need to steer clear of those amber waves of grain.

Let's get down to business (to defeat the huns? #accidentalDisneying):

The recipe's instructions:

1. Brown ground beef in a large skillet. Drain. Add in onion and garlic and cook until tender, about 3 minutes. Stir in enchilada sauce and top with grated cheese. Cover and allow cheese to melt, about 3 more minutes.
2. Top with sour cream and serve with tortilla chips.

 

TOO EASY. NOT TASTY ENOUGH. MPA MAD! MPA SMASH PUNY RULES!

 

Here is how I did it:

 

1. Heat olive oil in wok. Add turkey. Break it up and season with salt, pepper, garlic powder, and cumin.

 

2. While that is browning, prep your veg. I bought pre-diced onion so I just had the pepper. De-seed and de-rib, dice.

 

3. Once the turkey is cooked through and browned some, drain. Leave in colander until needed.

4. Add a smidge more oil to the wok. Toss in onion and pepper. Hold off on seasoning until they cook down. Then add some salt, pepper, garlic powder, and cumin.
                                             

 

5. Add beans and corn. Cook until they are warmed through.

                                         

 

6. Add turkey and mix together. Add in enchilada sauce and cook down for 5 or so minutes, stirring occasionally. Taste and season as needed/if needed.

 

7. Add shredded cheese and mix until melted.

8. Add cream cheese and mix until melted and incorporated through entire dip. Then add about 1/4 cup of sour cream (this was eyeballed, using a fork because I am nothing if not a scientist) and mix.                                         

9. Grab some chips and enjoy.

 

 

 

 

 

Pinterest Diaries: Pizza-dilla

The Husband and I are quesadilla people. There was a time when we had them once a week. We have even had a dinner party that involved a quesadilla bar. They are fast, easy, tasty, and cheap. Who can argue with that?!? For me.. Well, for us, they just make sense as I almost always have all of the ingredients on hand. Quesadillas in our house are a dinner that relies on pantry staples.

My normal quesadilla is built like this: tortilla, layer of refried beans - preferably Trader Joe's salsa style, layer of shredded cheese, corn (canned corn that has been drained or frozen that I heat with a bit of butter and the Holy Trinity - salt, pepper, garlic powder [Hallelujah - praise be their grains]), green onion or if I don't have any -which is almost a criminal level offense- I will use a can of green chiles, some more cheese because cheese = life, and a top tortilla. I heat them in a skillet making sure everything is melted and warm, flipping to brown both side. I cut it with a pizza cutter and top with sour cream, guac or sliced avocado, and salsa OR if my saintly in-laws have recently come back from Florida some deliciously spicy BBQ sauce. It normally looks like this:

 

 

I decided to get cray and make PIZZA-DILLAS. I saw it on Pinterest and thought that it would be a tasty alternative to a regular quesadilla. The pin called for wheat tortillas that are folded in half. I know me and I know The Husband. A full tortilla was going to be made instead of a halved one. It also had a can of sliced mushrooms and a can of sliced black olives as well as pepperoni, cheese, sauce, thinly sliced onion, and thinly sliced green bell pepper. A layer of cheese then the toppings except the sauce, which was solely for dip-dips. Browned on both sides and cut to perfection.

 

So, naturally (and not surprising if you have read any recipe I have put up here), I went rogue. I held off on the veg to cement the concept for The Husband and to save on money. Here is how it went:

 

Ingredients

• flour tortillas (one day I will remember to get GF!) $3
• a jar of pizza Sauce $2
• shredded mozzarella $3.50
• sliced pepperoni $4
• parmesan cheese - the kind in the shakey thing (had on hand)
• garlic powder (had on hand)

 

Total spent: $12.50. It could have been less (by approx. $3-4) if I had shopped somewhere else but I <3 Trader Joe's, so #YOLO. This yields 4 quesadillas if you use my method, or 8 if you use the method the recipe suggests. My method equals ~$3.12 per quesadilla, theirs ~$1.56 . Either way, still not bad. and you can certainly repurpose tortillas not used and cheese for other meals during the week.

 

 

So let's get to the part we all care about: FOOD PORN.

 

First, I spread a few large spoonful's of the pizza sauce on one tortilla then sprinkled some garlic powder on it.

 Not that anyone can tell the delicious grains of garlic-y groodness are there.

 

Next, I added some of that shakey parmesan salty perfection.

 

Awwwwww, Yesssssss

 

Next, a large paw-ful  of cheese.

Pro-tip: clean up the edges of renegade shreds to prevent it flying out during the dilla-flip.

 

Following the cheesening, top with pepperoni (and veggies or other delicious pizza toppings. GO ROGUE IN THE KITCHEN.)

Coverage is important.

 

Now, more cheese but less than before. Just enough to make a cheese seal.

 

Laying the top tortilla in your hand, spread some more sauce and sprinkle again with garlic powder and parmesan.

Please note this is before the parmesan was added.

 

Slap the top on so the sauce meets the cheese. Move to a frying plan on medium low heat. Let one side cook until browned and about half or so of the cheese is melted.

Mmmmmm, Brown food is delicious.

 

Gently flip the dilla and do the same on the other side. I like to peek by lifting the top tortilla up to see the progress. Watch out! It gets hot in there.

Almost ready for OM NOM NOMs

 

Once out of the pan, I cut it into fourths with a pizza cutter and then BOOM! Dinner is ready. Drop the mic and get ready for your family, partner, friends, EVERYONE to love you just a smidge more.

 

I will definitely do this again, and I will definitely add vegetation to the mix. 



















Tutorial: Buffalo Cauliflower

In an effort to try new recipes (ala TBT #9) and to eat vegetarian half of the week, The Husband suggested trying buffalo cauliflower "wings" MONTHS ago. This has made the weekly menu a few times but always gets knocked out for other tasty treats. This week, we bought a beautiful head of cauliflower from Whole Foods and stuck to the plan (go Team Awesome!).

I watched a bitchin' tutorial from The Rad Fat Vegan on youtube and read a few recipes to get a general idea of how to make it, then struck out on my own. We had a tight budget this week so I opted to use regular flour instead of buying tummy-friendly flour (read as: GF flours/rice flour/etc), but stuck mainly to the ingredient lists I saw-which were surprisingly almost all the same.

I could have baked them longer as I longed for more crunch. The Husband did not like it. At all. Good on him for trying, though. Veggies are still an exciting new frontier for him.

Here's what you need:
Software:

• 1 head of cauliflower
• 1/2 cup of flour
• 1/2 cup of water
• 2 tbs buttah
• Your choice of buffalo sauce or hot sauce
• The Holy Trinity (salt, pepper, garlic powder)
• Cooking spray and/or parchment paper
• Bleu Cheese or Ranch dressing for dip-dips

Hardware:

• Baking sheet
• Measuring cups
• Whisk
• Large bowl or 2
• Wee bowl (microwaveable)
• Thongs
• Cutting board
• Kitchen knife

Now let's make some veggie "wings"!

1. Preheat your oven to 450 (Crank the AC if you have one in the kitchen-450 is sweat inducing- you lucky, lucky bitch).
2. Cut that beautiful head of cruciferous goodness (that's the cauliflower)! Cut out the green leafy bottom. Then cut into bite-sized florets.
   
3. In a bowl add flour and The Holy Trinity to taste. mix together with whisk and start adding water slowly. The batter you end with should be pancake batter thick or a little thinner. If you don't like the consistency, add more water or flour until you are happy with it.
   
4. Ready your baking sheet for a trip to tasty town. If using parchment paper, you don't NEED cooking spray but feel free to use it if you like. Otherwise, spray yo' sheet.
5. Now dip that shit! Cover the whole floret in batter and shake off the excess. Place on sheet. Repeat until all the cauliflower is coated, then toss in the oven.
   
6. Bake approx 10 minutes. Batter should be kind of firm but not browned.
7. While its baking, make some sauce. Melt the butter in the microwave-or if you are in a teeny tiny apartment and don't have a microwave, make a double boiler and melt some butter. Pour in Buffalo sauce (I dig Frank's or Archer Farms-the Target brand) and add some garlic powder. mix together. I think I used about half of the bottle.
   
8. Take the veg out and toss it in the sauce, coating each piece with firey deliciousness. Return to baking sheet and pop back in the oven.
9. Bake another 15 minutes or until the batter has firmed back up. Bake longer for a crunchy coating.
   
10. Plate and serve with a side of dip-dips. I prefer Marie's bleu cheese dressing.
11. Die of happiness before the cruciferous-ness works its questionable magic (wink, wink).

Happy snacking!
-MPA